Well, hello first post. I’m going to transfer some anxiety from myself onto you, little blog. I’m 4 days out from surgery and there are things to be done beforehand.
Tomorrow I will have to start my low residue diet in order to prepare myself for a bowel prep, necessary in my case as the doctors suspect that, like the first time around, there is endometriosis growing on the bowel. So, I’ve got 2 surgeons having a look laparoscopically, and I’m hoping there isn’t anything too wrong… but they won’t know for sure until they have a look. I actually hated the prep the most, the first time around, and that will be another post in itself, maybe… probably.
I’m anxious this time around, more than the first, probably because I kind of know what to expect and I also don’t. I have both the fear of the unknown and known, working for and against me. I get this weird feeling of anticipation and dread at the same time, anticipation that I’ll finally get some more answers and dread that maybe they won’t be the answers I will like.
Surgery is on Thursday, I’m scheduled to be first up, but that doesn’t really mean anything, it just means I check in super early in the morning but might not get onto the operating table til a few hours later. I’m kinda hoping it means all the staff will be bright and chirpy and ready to go, but, given the crazy hours doctors and nurses work, that might not be the case for all of the staff. I’m confident I’ll get adequate care from the hospital, but I’m also nervous that I’ll not get to stay as long as I need to as all hospitals are so desperate for beds, even the private ones. I fantasised about checking myself into a hotel room for a few days after surgery because then I wouldn’t have to worry about much and would have a forced rest, but the budget says no… especially after the deposit for surgery and the estimated bill from the anaesthetist. Argh! I understand healthcare workers have to charge a lot and I’m very, very grateful for universal healthcare here in Australia, but the bill is still a big shock.
This post is very disjointed and I normally dislike posts that ends with a paragraph critiquing the actual post, but I’m trying to unload a bit of anxiety, I think, before bed. I already have lots of trouble sleeping and it is compounded at the moment.
Endo and Liz - an endometriosis journal 